You chose to live with your dead eyes open, I leave you a lot of time to understand it…

Go away, I want to be by myself. Without a sorrow, without an uncertainty, without you. I do not want to wait. I want to live here and now. I want to fall asleep at night and dream of dreams that are  not for you. So do not be surprised if you can't feel me any longer. I'm too far away and our sky is no longer the same.

It is Strange... you do not need much to compare the first and the last letter that was written to you. We are strangers and you perfectly know it. We have been strangers from the very beginning. What a shame that I just now opened my eyes. Do you remember when I said I feel like a used item? It is not like that, I just fell for the wrong person. I can still see images of those days when we walked home barefoot, when we held each others hand, when we were sincere and when we spent our time together. Yes, it was amazingly beautiful moments, but was it, at least, real? Is it possible to pretend for such a long time?

It is hard to realize that such acting in life is possible. I’m sorry, but my moments were real. And it will never be fake, because I have something that you don’t. It is the joy of life. Did you ever wonder why you never smile, especially when you look at the pictures? Have you ever thought about the benefits not only for yourself, but also for the people around you? Have you ever felt that your life is complete? Did you ever think about what you will say to your children and grandchildren when they will ask: what was your life? Or did you just leave them to live with any woman, that passes by your life, because again you will not want to be with her forever? For some reason I feel that the biggest problem in your life is that you do not know how to live by yourself. It is like you are lost and you are wondering between the time and the space. So, whichever space push you more, there you go. However, later you realize that you are in a place that gives you no happiness and no way back.

Did you ever sincerely have thought and understood your feelings and thoughts, and not just work? Maybe, when you will understand what you want, then you will find the happiness in your life. I can feel it, because I am surrounded by the people I love. Every smile, every tear, everything in my life is real. Remember, you must always move forward  with your life. Always, always, always remember, that the stick has two sides and one of them will always be turned to you. If not today or tomorrow, then after a month or two, maybe later.  You better think hard about what you have in your environment and who you have by your side… Think carefully. Do you have anyone who would stop a plane knowing that you are leaving and never coming back? Or they just let you go and forget about  you in a few months. Think of  what you have and what you give to others. Would you stay with a person that cares about you and wants all the best for you? Or would you run to someone, who remembers you when he feels lonely and decides that he wants you back? And you go back. And you are perfectly aware that all of this will take a very short moment until the next time when that person finds a different target. And what will you do then?

Will you just go with the flow and flip through your phone book trying to get back what you had? Unfortunately, a lot of people have already left you to walk alone. I am saying all this to you, because I will not have an opportunity to do so. Just think about it. As for now, I am looking  at myself  and I can not believe that I am smiling. It is because I have myself, I have my family that I love, I have hands, legs, eyes and ears, I live my life and I am happy. Please, think, do you  really need so much to feel happy?  Go back home, hug the person that has raised you, because the time goes quickly and you will never know when you will lose someone. What will you have then? Job? Money? But not the family. However, only at the very end you will understand that your life was empty and that there are a lot of truth in this letter, but you have not understood it when you needed it the most. I was the person, who should bring you the happiness, truth and warmth, unfortunately.. I guess I came at the wrong time and the wrong place.  Just remember, you will never return of what you had. I don’t know if you will save me in your memory… I still remember of our sacred silence. The silence that now has turned into darkness…

You chose to live with your dead eyes open, I leave you a lot of time to understand it…

P.S. this is a translation from a beautifully emotional letter...